I did get an update from Jeff.  He has been in to see Slim/Bill.  He is going to send me a more detailed report later tonight or tomorrow, but after seeing him this afternoon.. he simply asked that we pray harder.  Jeff could hardly talk.. just kept saying his heart hurts after seeing his friend in that condition.  He prayed a prayer of faith, as God told him to do.. so we will continue to believe in faith that God's answer is on the way!  Thank you for the prayers and support.  May God bring blessings upon you that you cannot contain!

I'm in tears.  These are good tears.  I sat down this morning and balanced my checkbook.  We have a bit more than I thought we would have, so I am going to buy some groceries tonight.  With Jeff being gone over the weekend, I will be making a pot of chili for the boys and I to eat.  They don't mind having the same thing night after night.  I add 2 cans of beans and tomatoes to the chili each night after we eat out of it, so it really stretches the meat even further.

Back to the tears.  After balancing my checkbook, I decided to call on the medical bills that are coming in from my first ER visit.  I explained that we were applying for assistance, but wanted them to be aware of the situation and that we were not avoiding payment, we just didn't have the money to pay it.  One of them told me to call back when we find out if we were approved or denied for assistance, and we would go from there.  One told me that my bill would  automatically be sent to a collection agency in 2 weeks.  No sign of help or mercy on that one, and that's the biggest bill so far.  Then I called on the other bill and was told that I have a zero balance!  They forgave the bill.  *tears*  I'm still in awe of Him!

I would not have gone to the ER if I knew it was just an anxiety attack, but the pain was more than that.. and I worried that if I were having a heart attack and ignored it.. my family would pay the price for my frugality.  Now I see how God is taking care of us.. yet again.  *tears*  We are so undeserving of His love and care.  I'm in awe of You Lord!!

Jeff will be leaving tomorrow morning.  The enemy is sure working in that arena.. on all of us.  I will not give in.  The thoughts he is putting in my mind are lies, and I will not entertain them.  He has a plan in all of this, and I know that Jeff is simply obeying what God has told him to do, and from that, we will see blessings.  I hope to see healed spiritual lives in our friends, and a healed liver in Bill.  =)  God is able.. amen?  AMEN!

I've been taking my diet more seriously.  I'm attending meetings at Weight Watchers, but beginning to think I can do it on my own this time.  I could be back where I want to be within a year if I really stick to it.  The food choices are easy for me.  I can tell a big shift came when I no longer craved sugar.  That is huge for me.  I want so badly to succeed in the area of weight loss this time.

It all comes back to disobedience.  When I take a long look at my life, I see how much is "wrong" from simply not obeying God.  This is not the only area of my disobedience, just the most obvious.  This disobedience will not bring blessing into my life.  His Word is clear that disobedience only brings curses.  That will not only effect my life, but the lives of those who are woven into my life.

Each day I have choices to make.  I need to be seeking Him for every decision that comes my way.  It's not about me, it never was, it never will be!  I need to be making His choices in my life.  After all, my life is not my own.  It's about Him, about those He has given me to love and care for. 

I will obey.  I will follow His choices for my life.  He promises that His blessings will follow!

I went in for the stress test this morning.  Not a big deal really.  I had taken my blood pressure medication last night, which also helps to keep my heart rate down.  Because of that, I had to work a little harder on the treadmill.  I know one thing for sure.. I want a treadmill now!  =)  They said things looked good, but I won't get a full report for a few days.  The IV was the worst part.  I have bad veins, and after 8 sticks in the ER on Monday, I was not happy with adding 3 more today!

After I was done, my son took me out for a belated birthday lunch at my favorite "health food" place.  I'm still stuffed, but with good food.  I'm now resting and trying to think of something quick and easy for the boys to make for dinner.  I'm very tired (didn't sleep well) and need to get some online things done.

I'm backing off from a lot of things right now, trying to reduce my stress level.  They are still very concerned with what I have on my platter (they said I do too much for it be considered a plate).  *smile*  I'm anxious to be removing some of the things that are on there, that's for sure!  But some of the things I need to remove sadden me..

Glen is picking up a car today.  Yes.. PICKING UP A CAR!!  I will no longer be doing the early taxi runs.  I told the boys that the first one to get a car would then be doing the running for me.  I'm so excited!  I will get to sleep in a bit for a while, then will get up at a reasonable time to get my Bible study done and set up for Sam to hit the books.  Once I can get back in my routine, I know it will help me a lot.

I'm going to be going to my every other  Tues/Thurs Bible study again in a few weeks.  Per Dr's orders, I will not be leading my Wednesday night class at this time.  He is a Christian, and knows how important study is, but thinks me taking a few classes and being poured into right now is better than me adding the stress of leading a class to the already overloaded life I got.  *smile*

I have no idea what today's test cost, but we are applying for assistance from the hospital since we don't have insurance.  Will you please pray that God makes a way for us, either to pay or get assistance.  I know I had to have things checked out to ensure I am ok.. and now will work to change my lifestyle to better my health.. physical, mental, and spiritual.

Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes.  I can't tell you what a blessing it's been to open my email and be encouraged by my precious sisters.  God bless you!

I opened the door this morning to let the cats out while I got my coffee poured and as I did.. I noticed how quiet it is this morning.  So calm.. a bit chilly.. my kinda morning for sure.  As I was about to turn around and go back in the house for my coffee, I heard a horse whinny.  It brought tears to my eyes.  That is the one thing missing in my life right now that I so desperately need.  As I turned to go back into the house, I heard the whinny again.  My heart began to ache.  How I miss that part of my life.

The stables were always my "safe place" growing up.  The horses were my joy.  I didn't own one until I was in my teens.. but just being with them and working at the stables through nearly all of my childhood was my reason for existence.  When I was seeing a counselor during some very hard times in my adult life, her only "prescription" for me was to ride.  It's not even the riding that helps me as much as just being around the stables.